This Sickness

A poem by Raea Adams


When you look in my direction

I undergo a mental dissection

This feeling is alien

To my winter mind.


Dead memories roam free

I share these scars for all to see

Yet you don’t run and hide,

Even though I’m damaged in plain sight.


This feeling I can’t stand

Good yet horrific.

Losing my mind?

Is it already lost?

Like a car going for the guardrails

I need to guard my bleak heart

I don’t comprehend this foreign language

So many seem to speak it,

I can’t even breathe.


In this light sweetness

It shatters my shadow visions

I call my reality,

Rips apart my home

These shadow lands.


I must shake this feeling

No matter what it takes

Take your heart and devour it.

So I can be at peace again


Get close

Love overdose,

Plunge a rusty dagger

Straight into your head.


But I can’t take these emotions

Not sorry.

You fell for a hollow.

Then abused it.