A short story by Mister Grey
I lay in my bed ever so gently, letting my mind slip into blissful sleep. The best part of my day, escaping my mind into my own version of Eden….As darkness settles light flashes all around, giving life to a new scene to live in for the night. I walk around to see what slice of heaven I find myself in now, my skin becoming lost with the darkness, eyes as grey as the night sky outside. It looks like I’m in a cabin, twilight woods surround me like an army, the branches mangled and bleak. Starting to feel so weak, the world grows bleak. Rotting wood all around, a contorted cabin, some things upside down and displaced by this fractured reality. My escape turning into me having to escape but I can’t find the exit door inside my mind back to the real reality. I can feel shadows surrounding me, readying to pounce on me and suffocate me with sorrows. Fear creeping up on me out from under the floorboards. Edgar Allan Poe’s stories coming back to haunt me, I can hear scratching from underneath the floorboards. Ravens cawing as they fly away in haste, this is starting to feel like a bad trip. Liquor appears in front me, was it there before? It flies upward and smashes, the red wine flying everywhere. This place torn apart, mattresses cut open the insides bleeding like a gutted victim. Windows smashed like pumpkins on Hallow’s Eve. Mold growing from the floor climbing to the ceiling. Notes written in blood start to flash around me, my head becoming heavy; too groggy to stand. Like 3D flashing red, green, then blue, nearly blinding me without lights. Running away, the dark woods stretching onward and onward. Then I wake up finally. Gasping for air as the horrific atmosphere dissipates. Trying to breath in normally again, convincing myself it was all a dream. A dark dream that is now over.
The day flew by like the ravens from my last dream, it was actually a pretty cool dream. Hopefully I will see heaven’s daughter in my dreams as I pass away for a moment. I’m back in the same twisted cabin except it’s more vivid, I can feel splinters stabbing into my feet. The rough wood scraping my hand as I caress it. Torn curtains flowing in a mesmerizing, nightmarish way. I hesitate, something bad is gonna to pop out. But nothing does, so I grab it firmly and panic as it turns out to be heavy amounts of sticky spider webs. Maggots dragging their slimy, sluggish bodies across the floor. I find the fridge and open it without control, needing to see what is in store for me behind the door. Once again finding my way out into the forest of lost hope. The moon shining rays of bleak light onto me, revealing me to be a black dot in a grey light, my clothes disappearing, my protection leaving me weaker than I ever thought I could be. I run faster, faster, and harder than before trying to escape this infinite loop. How can this forest just stretch on so long? Doesn’t it have to end eventually? Stones cut my feet open, leaving a blood trail. Making me stumble and whimper in pain. Adrenaline driving me, I can’t be this lonely? It feels likes hours go by, I can’t maintain this stamina. I hurdle towards a tree as my legs finally give out. Burned out, like a blow torch is burning me from the inside out. My injured body cut up, scraped, worn out, lying against this tree. It feels so rough yet warm. Maybe this nightmare will turn into a dream. I wake up once again from the nightmare. Gasping less for air and more worn out as the sun pierces my eyes. I guess it’s time to live even though I’m just more exhausted than when I laid down.
I’m starting to lose my edge as she invades my mind all day. It’s been a rather shitty day, bleak filled with puddles of internal tears. Trying to figure out what this one thinks but I can’t; not yet. Work is done, now I can finally lay down and try to escape once again into a dream. Though the last two nights have been nightmares. Vivid torturing coming from myself. I hesitate but end up on the bed regardless. I lay there in limbo, between life and sleep, unable to cross the threshold. The imagery from previous nights infect me like a terminal disease. Then her face wipes them all away, someone who fell for me and I ignored, now I’m just stumbling hopelessly to get her attention. Hour after hour the midnight light streams into my room through the blind slits. Exposing some demons around me. Finally falling down the rabbit hole, if I’m gone they can’t touch me; or so I thought. Waking up in front of the tree, just as hurt and exhausted, it feels like no time has passed. A firm, hard grasp constrains me. Lifting my eyes slightly to see what’s happening. The tree branches restrain me, the forest is coming to life. I’m marked as prey, no protection, left defenseless; I’m going to die here. Bones cracking as each struggle brings a tighter hold. I can feel the air being pushed out of my lungs as they’re crushed liked jellybeans. Ribs being snapped like kit kats. The trivial details flooding my memory like it’s all I have left as I commence the final countdown of my life.
The tree slowly stops right as I’m about to die. I suppose the torture is over, the shock burned into my eyes. I muster enough stamina to keep moving, misguided balance leading me into the earth over and over. Dragging myself to the road to realize I’m all alone. Laying there on my back reflecting on everything that’s happened. The dark rays of the moon hit me, burning demons into my mind. I thought I could escape by falling but only gained worse. Like incisions to my brain the dark thoughts inflict my mind. Deep lacerations letting depression seep in like a dark ooze into my mental state. Blocking light from entering. The constant thoughts killing me inside even though I know they’re fake. What if she doesn’t like you back? You probably fucked up by ignoring her. If she doesn’t like you, it’s what you deserve. You deserve to feel hopefully for weeks and weeks on end then have your world shattered by gravity. You did it to her, now she’s gonna do it to you.
No…I know she wouldn’t do that…I didn’t mean to…it just happened…..what if someone else has taken the diamond plated stand I once was held on? I guess it’s too late now…I’ve gone too far…what if I quit now and I was the one all along?
I finally stand up rejuvenated with hope, with will to power on. I have to see how this all plays out. It’s time to hit fast forward on this nightmare. I walk along the road with dark foliage surrounding it. The moon looming ahead giving me light to march forward. Each step I take insecurities flood me. Trying to overlord me. I can’t stop now, then I see a shadow figure in the distance. It slinks closer…closer…and closer…I can see its face….flawless bravery starting to shake…a little girl in a white dress…coming close to me…She stops then looks at me in the eyes. Everything stops.
My heart stops.
Everything shakes like an maxed out earthquake.
Her hand is raised and committing to motions that jerk me violently. Thrashing me in the air like a doll.
In her hand I spot a doll barely…it’s blurry…everything is harder to process..THE SHAKING GROWS MORE VIOLENT EACH MOMENT! EACH SWEEP OF HER HAND MAKES MY BODY THRASH CRAZIER!!! MAKING MY VISION HAZIER!!! I CAN’T BREATHE….I can’t think…the light starts to fade out. Fear shocking my systems…hours and hours and hours and hours go by in just seconds. As the lights go out…
I wake up seizing in my bed, taking so long to stop. Trying to catch my breathe. Chest in agony, it was just a nightmare right? It feels like so much more…
As the days slips by as I lay depressed in my bed trying to make sense of all this…Then the answer hits me like shotgun shell…It must have manifested from my fear of being alone, even if I refuse to admit it. The girl I feel for so much being the death of me. If I can’t stop to see my inner struggles. I can conquer them. I need to if I want her. I figured out this simple yet complex jigsaw. My chest starts to really kill me. I guess I shouldn’t have denied the truth to set in. Refused pain to hurt me just a little to resolve it. I let it build up…now…my..heart….is dead…..I-…….